IG-86: Imperial Probing Droid

I just found Igor in the book shelf. He was just sitting there playing with his cell phone.

And eating chocolate. The small robot's chocolate!
So I asked him what he was doing.
"I'm"
"nom"
"Just checking out some cool things on the internets with my"
"nom nom"
"Cell phone"

"Yeah, but it's not your chocolate is it?" I replied him.

"Well"
"nom nom nom"
"The little guy isn't here to complain is he?"

And he was right. Actually I had not seen the little fellow in a couple of days now.

"Hey, Igor! Where is that small droid of yours?"

"Well. I sent him on a recon mission. I got a lead on where to find a sith lord, and he volunteered to follow it up." Igor said and shrugged his shoulders.

"So you're telling me that this robot has actually gone somewhere?"

"Yep."

I hate this guy. I go buy him an expensive toy and it just takes a couple of days for him to lose it.
I think I am going to sit down with Igor and have a serious conversation sometime soon.

But for now I let him continue playing some kind of  game on his phone. He was so in the game that it sounded like he was talking to it.
This droid I tell you...


Meanwhile
In a galaxy not far far away.

Small robot with a communication device.
"Igor! Igor! Come in Igor!"
"This is Igor speaking. Is that you little guy?"
"Yes! I have gathered some very important intel that I show you."
"Go on?"
"Okay. Just hold on and I'll send you everything I got! and Remember; "many bothans died to bring us this information""
The last part was uttered with a slight giggle.

To be continued...

IG-86: IG Phone Home.

I have been arguing quite a bit with Igor lately.
He has just gotten a cell phone.
All the other assassin droids has got one, I must have one too. Was the excuse he used to try to convice me to get him one.
And since I found a really cheap one I thought "why not?".
So now he sits there all by him self in the book shelf just playing with his phone.

And he hasn't been playing with his new small robot for a while either.
Maybe I should confiscate his phone for a while.

IG-86: Inception.

"It's.. it's.."

"IT'S A LEGO ASSASSIN DROID MODEL IG-86!!" Igor yelled happily.
"It's just like the one e saw on ebay! isn't it?"
And before I could confirm that it as, he just continued talking.
"This is the best thing or present anyone has ever given me."

"Look at him!"

"He's like a small copy of me."
"Man, you know hat e can do?" he asked, but clearly he was more speaking to him self because now I was totally secluded from the conversation.
"We can  take pictures of him doing crazy stuff and people will think that he's a real robot or something."
"This is going to be so awesome."

He started right away with making him pose with some candy.

"Haha! I am so going to call this picture 'the worst bounty hunter in the galaxy'."

I sighed. Clearly Igor has a soft spot for puns.

So I asked him if the couldn't be photographed with the mini robot.

Now I am going to call this picture the worst bounty hunters in the galaxy.

IG-86: Wrapped In Plastic

A while ago, me and Igor sat down and looked what ebay had to offer.
I can tell you that there are lots of things that both me and my little partner in crime would like to get our hands on.

But we both decided that we did not want to buy something without thinking it through.
So we did not buy anything that day.
Or that's what I told Igor anyway. Because when he was busy doing some assassin droid stuff, I put a winning bid on something that I thought he'd appreciate.


Some days later.


One day when we got home from work there was a mysterious letter laying on the hall carpet.

"Seems to be addressed to me" said Igor with a suspicious tone.
"Well you better open it then" I  told him, knowing exactly what the letter contained.

"Looks empt... hey wait! There is something in here"
And just a couple of seconds later he jumped out with this.

"Oboy, oboy, oboy, oboy!"
Oh, yes, that was one excited droid there.

"Oh my god! OH MY FRAKKING GOD!" He yelled after he had(not so gently) removed the covering plastic.
"YOU DIDN'T?!"

To be continued...

To Be Or Not To Be.

Måndag.
Skalldag.

Denna är från TV-serien Sons of Anarchy om du inte redan listat ut det.
Nån som förstår mitt val av rubrik?


I övrigt så finns min egna tolkning av Sons of Anarchys logotyp HÄR.

Edit:
Jag tycker att den påminner väldigt mycket om DENNA.

It's a fucking genetic accident.

Söndagkväll.

Ett bra tillfälle för reflektion.
Sitter i mina fina Darth Vader-boxers(med texten DARK SIDE på baksidan) i soffan och budar på diverse Star Wars-attiraljer på tradera.

Livet känns tryggt.

Tills jag upptäckte att jag hade en spindel i håret.
Jag har fobi för såna där kräk. Allt annat än roligt att hitta en sån rackare i håret då kan jag meddela.

I helgen såg jag två likbilar körandes efter varandra.
Jag sätter en hundralapp på att det var ett zombiebröllop på gång.
Tack för att jag inte var bjuden.

Nu fick jag mail från nån säljare på tradera.

Nåja.
Jag har målat i helgen. En grej får ni se i morgon.
En annan kommer en annan vecka.

En tredje grej skickar jag med Igor till staterna.
Det kommer att bli väldigt spännande.

Imorgon färdigställer jag en helt tokig målning.

Jag beställer även lite verktyg för att testa ett nytt konstmedium.

Nog med dravel.

Jag tycker att Cain Velasquez med tanke på sin tratuering på bröstet(brown pride) borde lyssna lite på vad George Carlin hade att säga om sån skit.

IG-86: Beware Of The Moon.

Igor said that he wanted to take a walk tonight.
"Bring your camera and I'll bring my sniper rifle."
"We have some shooting to do."

When we had headed out into the darkness Igor told me that tonight was a perfect night to hunt some wookies.

I had no idea of how he knew that.

But he told me that I should just trust him on that.

Here's a picture of Igor scanning the terrain through his night vision sight.

We found no wookies, so I asked why he thought there'd be a fair chance to hunt some of those down tonight.

"Full moon" He said.

I still didn't get it.

"Haven't you seen any horror movies?"
He continued without waiting for an answer.
"There's lots of those hairy bastards around when the moon is full."

That's when it hit me.
He thought werewolves were wookies.

So since he can't tell fact from fiction, and I didn't want to disappoint him, I just lied and said that no wookies would be spotted today.
Because today's a big wookie holiday so they're all back on their home planet Kashyyyk.

He bought the lie and we could go home.
Which I found delighting, because my fingers were in need of a defrosting.

IG-86: To Ride..

I payed my mom a visit this weekend and she thought that I should bring Igor with me, because she wanted him to tell her all about his stay in Stockholm.
So she made us coffee and offered us some noms.

"Nom nom"
"...and you know what?"
"nom nom nom"
"I even rode a horse"
"nom nom"
"There are pictures to prove it if you don't believe me"


My mom laughed and told Igor that she could tell that it wasn't a real horse that he rode in that picture.


Igor got a bit sad and said that one day, maybe he get the opportunity to ride a real live one.


"Well, that could be arranged right away. So what do you say?" asked mom.


Igor answered with a nervous tone in his voice.
"Sure, I'd love to"


So we went out to the horses and I could tell that Igor's huge confidence shrunk a bit as soon as he saw the huge creatures.


I helped him up on the back of one of the horses and told him to hold on tight.

And he did.  If he would've had knuckles, they'd be as white as they could get.
And I would soon notice that he wasn't intimidated at all.

"Giddy up!" he yelled.

"Yeeha!"
And had he not hold on tight he would surely have fallen off the back of the horse as it galloped away.
But this droid was a true talent in horsemanship and soon he was in control of this animal.

He kept riding for quite a while before he decided that the horse had had enough.


As always he insisted that he had his picture taken with this new friend of his.

Do click the image to see a bigger version of it!


We sat down in the beautiful nature and made some small talk.[click the picture for your new wallpaper]

But then from out of nowhere he spotted something.

"OMFG" he yelled.
"Have you seen this beauty?"


I had no idea of what he was talking about, but he insisted that I came along for something spectacular.


So I did.

"You see that huge rock?"
"I am going to climb that piece of bad ass"
"Free climb, 'cause I'm no sissy you know"


I just sighed, smiled and tagged along with my camera.

"It's a long way to the top!" Igor laughed while the words left his mouth.
"You know that it is famous a rock song?"
I couldn't tell if the pun was intended or not.

´

"Let there be rock"
I just shook my head. 
It was most definitely intended.

"Almost there"

"I'm the king of the world!"


I love that droid. Even when I hate him.

Igor wanted to be alone for a moment  and use the time for contemplation.[Or maybe this is a better suited wallpaper?]


After a while I could hear a rustling sound behind me.

It was that small assassin droid sneaking up on me. I almost didn't see him there.


He told me that we could go back to moms house now.


I agreed.






When we got there he wandered off to explore the yard.´
"Hey! Look here"
"What is this?"

"A system scan indicates that it is edible!"
"You really think that I can rely on my sensors?


Before I had time to answer him, he had already put it in his mouth and swallowed the damn thing.


Let's just hope that he won't do that when we find poisonous mushrooms. That could cause a hell of a lot of problems.


But then again.
He's a droid.


"Hey! HEY!"

"That thing! I want to ride it!"


Before I even thought about stopping him he was already sitting on the cat's back.

The cat is almost 17 years old. he could not care less about a small robot with ADD.


I decided that this was enough for Igor and I took him inside.
It didn't take long before he fell asleep on a chair spooning furry cat.

I had to wake him up just a bit after because it was time to go home.
Igor politely thanked the cat for the cozy spooning.

"Bye cat. Hope to see you soon again"

A New Hope.

Igor har fått en alldeles egen blogg.

Den finns HÄR.

Jag har lagt upp några tidigare inlägg i hans äventyr där.
(De som är skrivna på engelska, de svenska har jag inte orkat översätta)

Anledningen till att det är på engelska är att Igor ska ut och resa en hel del i världen och jag tycker att de som han ska besöka ska få slippa dålig google-engelskifierad svenska. Nu får de min halvkassa engelska som säkerligen innehåller 2763945726534grammatiska skott i foten/stavfel.

Jag börjar med att låta det första riktiga inlägget bli ett mastodontinlägg.
Som att man ger småungar en hel limpa cigg att röka första gången de vill prova skiten så att de ska få för mycket och sen aldrig igen viljha ha mer.

Eller. Det kommer ju mer. Idag låg Igors första tradera-inköp på dörrmattan när jag kom hem.. mer om det i framtiden.

Orkar du inte klicka på länkar så lägger jag upp skiten här med imorgon bitti.

Return To Spider-Skull Island.

Måndag, härliga måndag.
Vilket innebär att jag lägger ännu en skalle till högen i mitt sinnesstört stora projekt.

Michael som sponsrade denna är en vänlig själ som jag aldrig träffat.
Han ville ha med denna i samlingen av skallar. Han ville även betala för att få ha sitt namn på den.
Det känns alldeles overkligt och hur kul som helst att folk jag inte känner vill hjälpa mig på detta sätt.

Den där listan.

Precis alla på den listan är hjältar i min värld.

Simulating A Simulator.

Har legat hemma hela dagen och varit avtuppad i soffan lite från och till.
Ägnade dagen då åt att komma ikapp några serier.

Blev då peppad att måla skiten nedan.

Nån som kikar på samma serier som jag och då vet var den kommer ifrån?

IG-86: Project Cloning.

Igor came to me with a list of things he needed in a project of his.
Since it was a quite modest list of demands I decided that I'd help him out.

He said that it was things and materials he needed for some molding.
So I bought some really cheap stuff at the supermarket and thought he'd notice.

But he didn't.

This is Assassin droid Igor posing with a piece of pink clay.
"Take lots of pictures, this will be epic!". His words, not mine.

He the filled me in on his what he was about to do. And I do have to admit that his plan was a bit exciting.

"I'm doing it now! Darn you if you don't take pictures!"

A faceplant later:

"Mmmppff."
"Mmmm."
"Pftmm!"
"Unnnhhh?"
"UNNNHHH???"

Since I had no idea of what he's was saying I just played along and said "yes".



.




..





...



It was about here that I started to worry about Igor getting enough air.




.




But I soon realised that he's a droid and have no lungs.




.




But just to be sure I poked him.
I think he was asleep.
He says that he was awake.
I have my doubts about the amount of truth in that statement.

Here's the finished pattern we used.

Igor filled the pattern with some acrylic paint, and then we let it be for a couple of days.


One day Igor was calling for my attention from the kitchen. And this is what he had to show me:

He extracted the mold and glued it to a magnet and then painted it.

I was impressed.
And thought that it would look good on my fridge.
But Igor said that he had already decided that he was going to send it to a friend of his.

Evighetens Dårar III

Finns ingen anledning till att dra ut på det. Det är ju inte så att den tredje och sista delen av Kenthas födelsedagspresent känns så himla otippad. Om man inte är helt bakom flötet då, vill säga.

Som sagt, det är Guger som gjort de tjusiga omslagen till Torture Divisions demoserie Evighetens Dårar.
Tumme upp på det.

Länkar till de tidigare målningarna.

Evighetens Dårar
Evighetens Dårar II

Vill ni se alla tre bredvid varandra så klicka HÄR.

Evighetens Dårar

Just det. Jag skickade ju födelsedagspresent till K härförleden.
Eftersom att han notifierade mig om datumet på sin födelsedag bara en vecka innan den skulle äga rum så blev det tight med tid att få klart allt i tid.
Jag hann med att skicka den första så att den hann fram i tid.

Här är den andra. Som egentligen är den första. Lurigt.

Originalet som jag kopierat finns att beskåda på Gugers hemsida. Där finns mycket annat också som är värt att kika på. Så gör det.

Evighetens Dårar II

There Is No Spoon.

"Kattfoton FTW. Har man inget att blogga om så funkar det alltid med foton på De Små"
Var det någon som sa på nånstans på internets.

Så här kommer en bild.

Mina katter ligger sked i köksfönstret.
Stor sked: Arnold.
Liten sked: Pärlan.
Fönsterputsen står gud för.

Någon ville sponsra min senaste skalle så då målade jag dit hans namn.
Ta dig en titt HÄR.

IG-86: Working Nine To Five.

Even assassin droids have bad mondays.
I shot this picture of Igor when he came home from work.

It's obvious that he had a bad day at work.
He didn't say anything. I didn't ask.




Edit:
Det finns en anledning till att jag skriver på englesiska(så heter det väl?).
Om du inte klurat ut det redan så kommer det att avslöja sig självt när tiden är mogen.
Stay tuned.

På ett annat ämne så vill jag även passa på att tacka David Snusgrop för att han pushat för mitt skallprojekt en hel vecka nu i sin blogg Metal Bastard Goes Soft. Sånt gör mig glad. Tack.

Poison Was The Cure.

Måndag och ännu en skalle att lägga till samlingen. Nummer 25 i ordningen.
Känns som att jag snart är klar med projektet faktiskt.

Har du inte druckit något som haft den här varningssymbolen på sig så har du haft ett jäkligt tråkigt liv.

Har du däremot gjort det, så är du ju riktigt dum i huvudet.

IG-86: Traveling Through Hyperspace

Häromdagen så kom Igor hem efter sitt äventyr hos Sara.
Så här såg det ut när han skulle resa därifrån.

Igor har varit ganska tystlåten och inte riktigt velat berätta om sin vistelse där.

Tills idag det vill säga.

Eftersom han inte var sitt vanliga pratglada jag så kände jag att jag ville muntra upp honom. Så jag letade fram min gamla målning på hans lillebror IG-88.

Igor var inte imponerad. [målningen i bakgrunden]
Han började högljutt och väldigt upprört berätta för mig att jag var fanimig ingenting jämfört med konstnären som han nyss besökt.
Det fullkomligt sprutade ut ord och meningar ur den lille lönnmördardroiden. Medelst storvulna ord beskrev han fantastisk konst som hon skapat.
Dessutom avslöjade han att hon hade porträtterat honom.
Inte en gång och inte två, utan hela tre gånger och jag skulle knappt kunna föreställa mig hur bra det var.
Särskilt ett, som gick i grönt, var så snyggt att det nästan gjorde ont att titta på.


Vad Igor inte har koll på är att Sara faktiskt lagt upp porträtten på sin blogg HÄR.
[Anledningen till att jag inte lägger upp bilderna här är att ni ska ta er dit och öka hennes besöksstatistik litre.
Nu har jag ju kanske inte så himla många besökare här, men ändå.
Så klicka er dit för att se riktigt bra bilder på dem.]

Jag kände att det nu var dags för mig att visa något för min lille vapendragare.

Igor var mållös.
Hade hon skickat med dem? Wow.

Efter att ha stått och njutit av detta ögongodis en stund så kröp orden ut ur hans lilla mun med en knapp hörbar viskning.
"Tack Sara"

Efter det så la sig Igor tillrätta i soffan och berättade om sin resa och allt han upplevt.
Det fanns en anekdot om en ridtur.

Även berättelser om vänskapsband som knöts fanns.

Det botaniserades bland skivor med.

"Inte dålig musiksmak alls" var hans konstaterande.

"Du är en riktigt reko köttpåse, Sara!"